How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You at Work
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Do you find yourself overly concerned about what other people at work think of you, causing you to miss out on opportunities or struggle to step up into leadership roles? If this resonates with you, then you're in the right place. I'm here to share with you three strategies to help you stop caring about what others think of you at work, enabling you to communicate your ideas with ease and confidence.
Let's delve into the root of this issue. The fear of what others think often stems from a fear of rejection. Rejection brings with it a sense of unpredictability and perceived risk. But why does rejection hurt so much? The answer lies within our brains. When we experience physical pain, such as stubbing a toe or hitting a knee, certain areas of our brain light up and register that pain. Interestingly, these same areas light up when we experience social pain, such as rejection.
Understanding this connection between physical and social pain gives us insight into why we react the way we do and why we fear certain things. This self-awareness is the first step towards empowerment. It allows us to take control and do things we've never been able to do before.
Redirect Your Locus of Control
The first step to stop caring about what others think is to redirect your locus of control. The term 'locus of control' refers to your perception of where you have the most power or authority to make changes. There are two types of loci of control: internal and external.
If you have an external locus of control, you perceive that things happen to you. They are outside of your control, and you can't make things happen. Life happens to you, and you just have to see where it will take you. This perception can lead to a feeling of helplessness and a lack of control over your life.
On the other hand, if you have an internal locus of control, you feel that you have the power to make things happen. Instead of waiting for life to happen to you, you make things happen in your life. You master your own destiny. This perception is empowering. It gives you control over your life and allows you to master your destiny.
When you are overly concerned with what other people think of you, you are operating from an external locus of control. You cannot control what other people think of you or how they respond as a result of what they think. The only thing you have control over is your own perceptions and actions.
By shifting your locus of control from external to internal, you can take back control of your life. You can master your destiny and stop caring about what other people think. This shift is the foundation for empowerment from the inside out. It gives you a freedom that you've never experienced before.
Reevaluate Your Relationship with Fear
When we find ourselves overly concerned about others' opinions, it often stems from two types of fear. The first is the fear of losing respect or a relationship, either potential or existing. The second is the fear of facing the negative consequences of rejection.
These fears can lead us to seek out relationships and respect from others, hoping to avoid rejection. However, this approach is flawed. Life is a balance of positives and negatives, and we cannot control others' perceptions or reactions. When we seek only the positive aspects of a relationship, avoiding the possibility of rejection, our intuition steps in, triggering feelings of fear. These emotions serve a purpose. They remind us that it's unrealistic and unattainable to expect only positive experiences, devoid of any unwanted ones.
This understanding is particularly important for executives or those aspiring to executive roles. One of the most critical skills you can develop is self-governance. This involves understanding your feelings, identifying why you're experiencing them, and knowing how to overcome them. It allows you to maintain a balanced state of mind, fostering creativity, innovation, and enthusiasm. Self-governance enables you to perform at your highest level while navigating the complexities of relationships, embracing both support and challenge.
Reinstate Your Authentic Self
Embracing your authentic self is a powerful way to release the burden of others' opinions. However, it's important to clarify what authenticity truly means. It's often misconstrued as merely being yourself. But consider this: even in moments when you're fearful and overly concerned about what others think, you're being yourself. That fear and concern are genuinely part of who you are at that moment. So, the advice to "just be yourself" can sometimes fall short.
True authenticity goes beyond just being yourself. It involves having a balanced perspective, being neutral and objective, and living according to your highest values. When we're overly concerned about others' opinions, it's usually not about everyone in our lives. Instead, it's about specific individuals or groups. These are often people who we perceive to have something that we lack. This perception can lead us to seek external validation for our self-worth, or feel inadequate in our work or intelligence.
By reinstating your authentic self, you can achieve a balanced state of mind. You can engage in conversations and produce work without feeling the need to prove yourself. You can recognize your self-worth and bring value to your relationships. This is particularly important as you climb higher in your career. The higher you go, the more you will encounter ambiguity and pressure. Operating from your executive centers, rather than from a place of fear, is crucial.
Navigating the world of public speaking and leadership doesn't have to be a journey marred by fear and concern about others' opinions. By redirecting your locus of control, reevaluating your relationship with fear, and reinstating your authentic self, you can step into a space of empowerment and confidence.
Remember, these strategies are not about changing who you are, but about understanding and harnessing your inherent strengths. As you apply these principles, you'll find that you're not only able to communicate more effectively, but also able to lead with greater impact. The journey to overcoming fear and embracing authenticity is a transformative one, and it's within your reach. So, take the first step today, and unlock the potential that lies within you.
It is time to take the next step - moving from gathering knowledge to applying it. My executive coaching program teaches a powerful process for developing yourself and your career, based on the principles in this article. This results-oriented program is designed for growth-minded executives who want to fulfill their career goals by becoming the best version of themselves.
The program will help you master your mindset, gain deeper insights, improve your communication skills, and feel inspired about growing your career. If you are interested in learning how my proven methodology can help you achieve your career goals, apply HERE for a Discovery Call with my team.